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Rons Ramblings
Saturday, 30 August 2008
The Clock is Tickig
Mood:  happy
Topic: personal essay

The Clock is Ticking

 

Time, my enemy, moves forward. It cannot travel in reverse. But oh, how I wish it could. I have made thousands of mistakes but only one I want to change. I cannot. I move forward even though I really don’t want to. I exist in a void. Do I really have a positive future?

 

As I write this, I see nothing in front of me. I have no dreams, no aspirations. I see nothing but despair and depression. I’m alone in a house with other people. I am not good enough. I’m unwanted. I only exist.

 

Time however knows not of my desolation. The numbers on the clock march on. I seek not death, but life. I seek release from this humble existence. I search for happiness yet is that a realistic goal? I set my sights on the best. I aim for the pinnacle, the epitome of quality. It is not a reachable goal, but a goal nonetheless.

 

I will never be good enough. But yet I strive to improve. It will take more than I am. To get from where I am to the next step on my journey requires patience. I have none. It is this alone that makes me question why I exist. I survive, move across the sands of time towards a source of help. Medicine can control the depression. Therapy can help with the mental issues.

 

These issues, depression and mental illness have made my life, such as it was, a living hell. I am mentally ill. Will I ever be good enough? The hours chime, the work continues, I collect the pieces. Can pills, therapy, and my hard work, reassemble the pieces in an acceptable form?


Posted by theessaywriter at 6:49 PM CDT
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A Rainbow Collection of Words
Mood:  happy
Topic: tribute

A Rainbow Collection of Words

 

A life lived, a childhood lost. The experiences, the pain, is beyond what should happen to a child. The sad fact is, it occurs more often than commonly known. There are survivors. It is a blessing to find a survivor who also has the gift of words. Her perception, the way she tells a story, puts the reader at the scene. You feel what she feels.

 

A depth of perception such as this is rare. Her emotions flow through her fingers. The words carry this charge directly to the heart of the reader. In each word of despair is a glow of hope. Her pain, displayed, evolves into a salvation offered. This voice, this giver of hope, must not be stilled.

 

Answers found, a spirit tamed. He is but one of many. This soft spoken mother with the heart of a tiger would not give up. With gentleness, the terrors eased. They are still there but more controlled. Her love and tenacity slip from her fingers. She must continue, the world needs to hear how the spirit of this stallion has grown. Let nothing quiet this powerful voice.

 

These books are as yet unwritten. The stories have been lived. For the sake of our children, for a safer and kinder world, this rainbow crusader must go on. 


Posted by theessaywriter at 11:36 AM CDT
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To help
Mood:  happy
Topic: uplifting

Help

 

A four-letter word. Can it be done? Is it really possible to care enough to do the impossible? What does that word really imply? Is it just the physical presence of one such as an aide? Or is there more to it. Let’s find out.

 

An aide has certain assignments, and little more. A visit, a job done and it’s time to leave. But the help of someone who truly cares goes quite beyond the basics. To add love to the concept of help, is to add sugar to the lemons life hands us. While to the one receiving the help it is extra work for the giver. But to the one offering help coated with love, it is a divine pleasure.

 

With money one can have an aide.

Help offered with love has no price.


Posted by theessaywriter at 12:00 AM CDT
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Tuesday, 26 August 2008
Memory Eraser
Mood:  happy
Topic: Writing

Memory Eraser

 

“What dates are you seeking to eliminate?”

 

“You can do only certain dates?”

“We can do better than that. We can eliminate selected memories.”

 

“How does it work? Will it hurt?”

 

“It is a multi step process. First we scan your memory banks. From this we print out a list and also give you the data on a flashdrive. We make a second appointment at which we eliminate the memories you have checked, after committee approval. It’s all in the brochure. On your last visit in the series, we do a final scan and you verify the work. At that point we do one last scan and instill good memories where the bad ones were.”

 

Me’Er’s Inc, otherwise known as memory erasers incorporated, developed a painless method of locating and erasing bad and painful memories. Memory mapping has come a long way. On the first scan, all the memories are tagged and a memory information file is created and put on a flashdrive for the customer. A printed checklist is also provided.

 

On the second visit, a meeting is set up with the team of psychologists and a team leader that performs the actual procedure. Only after receiving a positive concurrence from this prodigious team of experts can the customer continue.

 

The original memory mapping is time consuming. To ease the customer’s anxiety, there is a meter visible that tracks the scans progress. The interview with the team is exhaustive and thorough. The last two scans are quick. To ensure the customer’s emotional health, a follow-up interview is scheduled for six months later.

 

One other feature offered is lifetime storage of the erased memories. Many, in fact, most, customer’s thought this was a useless idea. It was explained that often good can come from bad. Just in case a future reference to this memory is needed, they are put in long-term storage. This procedure came out of a meeting with an anger management committee.

 

The actual equipment was relatively inexpensive but the long-term storage devices costs were adding up. It took some creative financial management to make it cost effective for the customer. As it turned out, their methods helped to build a strong customer base. To offset costs there is a low monthly surcharge for the long-term storage. With this solid financial footing and strong customer base, Me’Er’s is poised for a long, successful future.

Posted by theessaywriter at 1:26 PM CDT
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Saturday, 23 August 2008
How to Treat a Lady
Mood:  happy
Topic: uplifting
 

How to Treat a Lady

 

Now, coming from me this will seem a bit odd. I’m not really a cold fish but my actions in the past said otherwise. There were, at the time, many issues. All of these have been cleared up. I honestly do prefer being close. I love hugs. What happened and why doesn’t matter because what I am writing below are my true beliefs.

 

All women are ladies. Some are just a bit rough around the edges. But even they deserve respect because respect given is respect returned. Respect is not however, gender specific. It’s amazing the world that opens up with please and thank you. A simple act of opening a door often earns a thank you or a smile.

 

Let’s look at some of the basics and misconceptions. At the top of the list and paramount, housework is NOT women’s work. You live there, help. If you don’t know how to do something, ask politely. You don’t know how to cook? Either do the dishes or learn basic skills. She will teach you. Ask her how she does laundry, then help. You bought her that sexy outfit, now learn how to hang it up or what drawer it goes in.

 

For the woman of your dreams, wife or girlfriend, learn to give gentle hugs. A loving touch does wonders. She’s working around the house? Step up behind her and give her a quick hug and tell her how you feel but make it something positive. Hug her whenever you can. Show her you really care. I learned this lesson the hard way. I made a vow to never not give all the hugs I can. Now if that isn’t a convoluted sentence! Hug her often!

 

Probably the most important lesson to learn is listen, then talk. She has things to say that are important. Her day is stressful and busy also. Share equally the events that transpire away from each other. Everything she has to say is just as important as what you do, listen to her. You might be surprised and actually learn something. Whatever you do, do not underestimate or put down the women in your life. They are as much a part of this world as you.

 

I could go on and write a book about this (maybe I will), but these are the basics. I’ve made many of these mistakes and I’ve learned from them. Use this as a guide. It really will make your life better.


Posted by theessaywriter at 1:53 PM CDT
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Biting the Bullet
Mood:  happy
Topic: uplifting

Biting the Bullet

 

Some things in life are more important than others. All that is truly important in my life is sealed with a promise. Each of these is, at the very least, an oath between God and myself. I have recently made several promises and these will be kept. I finally wised up and listened to a very intelligent expert. But now, one more promise. This will be the most difficult.

 

I promise to quit smoking.


Posted by theessaywriter at 1:41 PM CDT
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A Tribute to Three Greats
Mood:  happy
Topic: uplifting

A Tribute to Three Greats

 

Writing can be a tough career choice. But when you have help, it does go a bit easier. This will be short, but these three really deserve all the accolades they can get.

 

We’ll start with one that seems to always be going. You’d think that eventually there would be an end! At least laying down at night seems to help because first thing in the morning our first candidate is ready to go.

 

Number two on the list is all over the place. The variety of output never ceases to amaze me. I often wonder when candidate two will ever put a cap on the work. All the words flow out like the colors of the rainbow.

 

On the list at position three is a character quite unlike any other. Where do the ideas come from? There must be a miniature file cabinet in there someplace. The output is prodigious! Daily you see something coming out of candidate three.

 

There you have it my three tributes without which my writing career would hardly exist. Yes, it’s true. I need candidate one, my legal pads, but it takes candidate two, my pens to bring out the words and candidate three, JP, my stuffed, lavender puppy that is my muse personified.


Posted by theessaywriter at 12:58 AM CDT
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Friday, 22 August 2008
An Explanation
Mood:  happy
Topic: uplifting

I must put this in to explain much of what I have written. Whether the writing is good or bad, is irrrelevant. The purpose of many of these most recent posts was cathartic. I needed the emotional release. I am sorry for the negativity, but I had to get it out of my system.

The post below this one is the first of what will only be positive posts from this point forward. Again, accept my apology for the negativity.

 

ron


Posted by theessaywriter at 2:15 PM CDT
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A Writer's view
Mood:  happy
Topic: uplifting

A Writers View

 

My very survival has always depended on the words I use. The sharpest attacks, the most vicious blows could be deflected. I needed no pen for I learned early the art of verbal repartee. Putting the words to a more permanent and visual form, on paper, was never considered. A writer? Me? Not likely.

 

I have read Dickens and Hemmingway. The books of Steinbeck I devoured. I am not in that league. I wrote but one lengthy treatise in college. It fared quite well. I wrote a story and it was enjoyed by one person. A Writer? That takes talent.

 

Talent. How ironic. The words that were my survival and strength are my talent. I put pen to paper less than three years ago. I shared them over the Internet. I learned from the experts, the talented authors that I am indeed a writer. I’ve heard from the best, Joyce Anthony (author of Storm), Marvin Wilson (I romanced the Stone, Owen Fiddler), and so many more that would take a book to list. I learned that not only am I a writer, but a good one at that.

 

I am on the verge of making my name known in the writing world. You see above a pair of excellent writers. Each is different in style. My way is unique to me. I’ve never had the confidence I need. But I also have some great people that have believed in me. I now have the confidence to believe in myself. With that confidence, I move forward. I can do it.


Posted by theessaywriter at 2:14 PM CDT
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Thursday, 21 August 2008
Life in the Dead Zone
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: personal essay

Life in the Dead Zone

 

The maelstrom that is my life has gone from bad to hell on earth. The language used in this treatise is not done for effect but is instead meant in its most literal form. There may be none, we shall see.

 

I thought I had lived a decent life. I did not use drugs, nor believed in violence. What then went wrong? I existed on the surface of the me that covered a dark and foreboding secret. The me I portrayed fed off this secret and drove everyone away.

 

This secret, this basis of the anger upended my emotional state. The me that I want to be is not the me I display. The me that is seen destroys all relationships. My life has been and is, very empty. This emotional firestorm finally flashed over and destroyed the one true relationship. I, at this point, see not a rescue. The fires will abate but it leaves behind a charred and destroyed shell of humanity.


Posted by theessaywriter at 7:41 AM CDT
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